Last week, I went through a four-day training on “Tools and Techniques of Data Analysis.” I’m not going to lie. It was ROUGH. I’m not a numbers kind of gal. I like to get the numbers already analyzed. Then, I can go and figure out the “why” behind them. This is how I roll.
That being said, I thought I was doing pretty well in this class! I was holding my own! There were professors in there! And quantitative analysts! For someone with a social science degree, I was kicking some butt!
Until day four.
Day four was when I realized my brain was absolute mush. I came to this conclusion because my thought process became identical to that of a teenage boy.
Instructor: “Let’s take a look at the Phi Coefficient for this.”
My brain: “Fecal Efficient? Is that when you can make it in and out of the bathroom really quickly? Would you cite that in a job interview as a strength? ‘I am very fecal efficient, so long bathroom breaks will not be an issue.’”
Instructor: “What is Krippendorf’s Coefficient of Agreement?”
My brain: “It’s how the sorting hat knew where Harry would live!”
Instructor: “This is an example of Cluster Analysis.”
My brain: “That chart totally looks like Mickey Mouse. M-I-C … see how much fun statistics are? K-E-Y … why? Because you have to! M-O-U-S-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Instructor: “Here is the Pairwise Coefficient.”
My brain: “If it were about a crazy clown, would it be the Pennywise Coefficient? AURGH! Killer clown! We all float down here! Mwahahahahahaha!”
Instructor: “How about this quagmire?”
My brain: “Giggity.”
It was clear that I was officially brain-dead at this point. I hope I managed to retain some of what I learned on day four. Only time will tell if I did indeed swallow at least a few nuggets of wisdom.
(“Your mom swallows.”)
*sigh*
