Top 10 Types of People I Was SUPER Irritated By in 2010 … in no particular order
- Women who are so skinny that their jeggings are baggy.
- Street preachers who inform me that I, in particular, will be going to hell.
- Anyone who feeds the pigeons on a crowded sidewalk. I already think birds are gross. Don’t make them swarm me.
- Those who insist that they can fit in the two inch by two inch empty space left on the train and then are highly surprised and annoyed when the doors hit them in the rear end.
- Airport travelers who act like they had no idea about the security measures until they get up to be checked and have to then take off their shoes and jacket, take out their computer, dispose of the eleventy-million bottled liquids they have, and then they look at you for sympathy. Seriously, there are a dozen signs telling you about it as you wait in line for an hour AND it’s been in effect since 2003. My sympathies do not extend that far. Sorry.
- Parents who bring nothing for their small children to do when they’re in a restaurant. Honestly, people. You really can’t expect your 2-year-old to entertain themselves with absolutely nothing while they are strapped to a chair and no one is paying attention to them because they’re trying to have a “nice dinner.”
- Those who use humor as a way to “cleverly” disguise true bigotry and racism. Dude, you’re not fooling anyone. You’re an a$$hole.
- That person out on the dance floor that acts out the lyrics to the song that is playing. Even if I can’t completely understand the lyrics, I still don’t want to see your interpretive dance.
- College graduates that still use words like “supposably,” “irregardless,” “anticlimatic,” or “heighth.” Money well spent, folks.
- People with no sense of humor. I think there’s something seriously wrong with those people.
Top 10 Types of People I Was SUPER Appreciative of in 2010 … in no particular order
- The inappropriately humorous who have REALLY good timing. Inappropriate humor isn’t good unless your timing is sheer perfection.
- Those who don’t give a rat’s behind about fashion when they are trying to protect themselves from the Arctic temperatures outside.
- Anyone on the train who gives up their seat to a senior citizen. Just a quick announcement to you guys out there, giving up your seat to only hot chicks does not make you a good Samaritan. Don’t look around grinning like a fool expecting someone to give you a medal.
- Strangers who smile at you for no particular reason, but don’t look creepy doing it. It’s a skill.
- Those women that wear the craziest, most avant-garde outfits and pull it off flawlessly. Cheers, ladies.
- The CTA lady at the Division stop that tells each person to have a nice night as we get off the train. She could just stand there silently, but she decided to use her time to say something nice to her fellow Chicagoans.
- Parents who treat their children like children and don’t expect them to be a mature adult at age 12. Don’t make them do the job of a parent and then act shocked when they dress or act older than their age. Direct correlation, people.
- The perfume lady who waits for me to say “no, thank you” and is kind enough not to spray me with the fragrance of the week. I and my sinuses thank you.
- Homeless people who haven’t lost their sense of humor, such as the “need money for ninja lessons” guy.
- People who don’t take themselves too seriously.
My 2011 wish for us all is to not take ourselves too seriously.
Taking yourself too seriously can only lead to drama. Drama makes me roll my eyes. A lot. Too much eye rolling could make my near-sightedness worse. This would mean that I would have to buy new glasses. Glasses are expensive. This expense could eat in to my shoe budget. If I don’t have any shoes, my feet may fall off next winter from severe frostbite.
So … if you actually WANT to make my feet fall off, please, by all means, take yourself too seriously. No, really. I don’t mind. *sigh*
